Baby You Can Drive My Car

This morning my car wouldn't start.

This was not a good way to start the day--or not start it, as it happened.

I am already in the land of bad car-ma, given that I have a copious leak in my power steering hose and four bald tires and I am sure in need of new brakes and rotors and lots of other expensive things. A new battery? Sure, add it to the list.

I have heard a theory that once one pays off a car, the money that had previously gone toward paying that bill every month now goes into maintenance. Since I couldn't really afford the bill each month as it was--and my credit is so poor that this is likely the last big ticket item I will ever be approved to purchase--there is no consolation in the fact that this, the first month out after finally paying off my sweet ride, I now need to find upwards of 1K in order to keep Esme running.

A problem inherent with this need of triple 0s is that the electric slide extends to my apartment, and a power bill largely left over from the cold winter months, a bill immense enough that the power company has informed me I gots to pay up or start living by candlelight. Tomorrow, as it happens. No current in the car, no current in the house, because I can't keep current on the monies. See how that works?

Another issue is that how can Phoebe and I move to my car a la Jewel circa the early '90s--since we are now officially one month behind in rent, this seem likely--if the car itself won't work? Can you park pretend SUVs in mobile home lots and build a porch off them? And if you can and you are me, who is footing that bill?

Every day since I paid off my car, I have fantasies when I drive by a used car lot about walking in and signing it over and exiting with some cold hard cash. Of course it wouldn't be enough cash to solve my world's problems, but for a minute it might be nice. But then I would have to walk home, and then quit my job since I wouldn't be able to get to work, and as aformentioned would face even more (if possible) certain eviction so really this is not a bright idea at the present moment.

So to conclude, in order to keep my decent job, the decent roof over my head, and the decent car to get me between these two places, I need to but immediately find a minimum of 1K. My last blog spoke of love and money. I feel in light of current (no pun intended) events, it bears pointing out that my car was named for one of my favorite stories--"For Esme With Love and Squalor."

Beep beep, beep beep, yeah.